A Scary Way to Go

It was cold and dark, and a chilly wind was blowing through town that night. The kind of weather that goes straight to your bones, the kind you never wish on anyone. I looked at my phone one last time to confirm the address: 340 E. Scary Way. I was so desperate for this job I never considered why an employer would interview on a night like this. When I knocked, the door slightly came ajar. I could hear laughter, still I decided to go in. The floors creaked as I walked cautiously towards the laughter;

there was hardly any light along the hallways. The closer to the chatter and laughter, the more nervous I became.

As I walked in, I noticed a large crack in the wall. I peeked and saw two guys laughing. One sat in a chair fit for a king. He was called “Master.” At his side was Igor, a much shorter man with no teeth. Igor was quite agreeable, saying things like, “Oh yes, you couldn’t be more correct master,” and “Yes, I agree master: he is not the one for us.” Across the room stood a young man dressed in a suit and tie with resume in hand. Terrified couldn’t even begin to describe the look on his face.

Suddenly, the laughter stopped. Breaking the eerie silence, Igor yelled, “What is your name kid?” “Robert, S-Sir”, he replied. Igor slapped and rubbed his hands together, gave Robert a sinister look and continued, “Why don’t you tell us about yourself?” The young man nervously answered, “I am 26, married and a stay-at-home-dad. I will work hard for this company!” The Master and Igor burst into laughter. Igor impatiently asked, “Oh please Master, can I push the button this time? You pushed the button on the last 20 interviews!” “Fine!” the Master shrieked. Igor pushed the button to launch the young man through the ceiling and into the moonlit sky. Horrified I managed to calm myself and listened carefully.

One of them laughed, “The kid touched down into an old pumpkin field across the street.” Igor sadly asked, “Master, why can’t we find the right person for the job?” “Oh shut up, Igor,” The Master snapped back and continued, “Because no one reads the job description.” I laughed to myself because its true! I didn’t read it either. I quickly remembered I had the job description and began reading it in the dim hallway light: “You must come dressed in old rags and disheveled hair. You must walk with a limp. No matter what question is asked of you, you must respond with: “Master, what does this matter if I am only here to help you take over the world?”

Forgetting The Master and Igor could hear me, I laughed and said out loud, “This is ridiculous!” The Master then raised his hand with fingers spread and moved it across his face to the left. This motion parted the wall that concealed me and I began to float towards them. Frightened I dropped the job description and watched it disappear into the dust and debris from the crumbling wall. I came to rest on my feet where the previous interviewee in the suit stood. “What were you doing in the hallway?” Igor asked in a sinister way. Before I could answer, the Master said, “No matter Igor, he is our last for the evening. Proceed on.” Igor began, “What is your name and tell us about yourself.” I smirked and said, “Master, what does this matter if I am only here to help you take over the world?” They both stood in shock and asked in unison, “Are you sure of your answer, kid?” Confidently I replied, “Yes!” Instantly I knew I was tricked and remembered what the job description said. Now slow motion took over as Igor and the Master’s hands raced for the button. I squeezed my eyes shut in fear, thinking to myself, why didn’t I just repeat my answer?

With a deep breath, I came to. I sat up and smiled. The teacher in front of the class had been talking but I only heard her say, “And that’s why it is so important to read the job description before sending your resume and going to an interview.” The bell rang! “Okay everyone, good luck at the job fair. If you get hired come back to share your amazing stories.” I stood to leave. “Oh and Mr. Richard,” “Yes Ms. Campbell,” With a grin she said, “If I were you, I’d be more careful about peering through cracks in walls! After all, that’s a scary way to go!”

Richard Prather is a bi-lingual Regional Facilitator for Workforce Solutions. Richard combines 3 years of experience at Workforce Solutions with his Master’s degree, diverse experiences traveling abroad, and commitment to excellence in customer service to provide training to both customers and staff throughout the 13 counties of the Gulf Coast Region.